Our guide on how NOT to commit major seasonnaire fails.

Every winter and summer season, hundreds of fresh faced seasonnaires descend on resorts around the Haute-Savoie in search of fun, adventure and adrenalin. Each hoping to have the time of their lives- working hard and playing even harder. Alongside the hunt for fun comes some inevitable mishaps…You’ll be lucky to avoid them all but hopefully we can help you steer clear of a few! Here’s our guide on how to avoid committing the most notorious seasonnaire fails….

1: DON’T LOSE YOUR PHONE ON THE WALK HOME FROM A NIGHTCLUB

All seasonnaires in a resort are given the same night off. This means Wednesday nights are extremely busy with workers from every chalet company descending on the resorts bars and nightclubs. This often means guests in catered chalets also have to head to a restaurant for their evening meal which means town is VERY busy (It may seem like a good idea to meet up with your guests in a nightclub late on in the evening, but it may be worth thinking twice)! Every Thursday morning it’s inevitable that social networks will be riddled with people asking if anyone has seen their phone in a bush on the main road through Les Gets or if anyone knows how to fix a broken iphone screen….don’t let this be you!

2: DON’T LEAVE YOUR JACKET, BAG, SHOES, PHONE, SKIS, BOARD, and LIFE IN A NIGHTCLUB

Similarly, alongside dropping phones on various roads and pavements many seasonnaires seem to forget to take their belongings home with them. The lost property boxes in various bars and clubs burst at the seams in peak season. In much the same way, after a seasonnaire day off, the resorts facebook group will be full of people asking about the whereabouts of coats, shoes, bags, helmets etc etc. Carry as little as possible with you…. that’s all the advice I’ve got! Also, don’t claim that your items have been stolen; until you’re 100 percent sure you didn’t leave them somewhere else. That happens quite a bit too!

3: DON’T DROP YOUR SKI PASS, CREDIT CARDS, PASSPORT OR DRIVING LICENSE

I’ve lost count of the number of times people have taken to social media in search of an ususpecting seasonnaire after having found cards belonging to them lying by a cashpoint in resort. I mean, that’s pretty nice of them. Not everyone will be as helpful and kind. Very often than not, once a card is lost- it’s lost! Don’t be the seasonnaire creeping to your boss the next morning asking for a new ski pass. You’ll be doing all the late and early check-ins/transfers.

4: DON’T ASK ON SOCIAL MEDIA IF THERE’S A GYM IN MORZINE

This is an easy one. THERE ISN’T A GYM IN MORZINE. If you ask anyone on social media about it you’ll get a barrage of abuse. It’s been this way for years and doesn’t look like changing anytime soon. Run in the mountains, try using the parkour course along the Dereche river, find someone with weights, get on your skis…. do anything. Just don’t ask if there’s a gym.

5: BE PREPARED TO BE TOLD OFF IF YOU LEAVE UNWANTED CLOTHING, FOOD AND STUFF BY BINS FOR PEOPLE TO GRAB

I mean, I’m all for this. It seems like the right thing to do. You get to the end of the season and have loads of stuff that you can’t take home with you, clothes, food, skis, equipment etc. Many seasonnaires leave bags of stuff at the bins and say, “come get it” on social media. Some people really don’t like this, saying- “OUR RESORT ISN’T A DUMP”. I’m just saying, if you do it, be prepared for a backlash! (Feel free to text me if you’ve got anything nice for a woman, about size 10).

6: DON’T ADOPT A CAT/DOG/KITTEN AND THEN DUMP IT WHEN YOU LEAVE!

This one is pretty close to my heart. I have friends who have 7 cats due to the post season, annual pet dump. Seasonnaires adopt or are adopted by a kitten or a puppy, look after it for 5 months and then don’t know what to do when they have to return home. They can’t keep it. They try to find it a home and more often than not fail in that quest. Cats have been found in bins, dogs have been found wandering the streets- it’s a feline frenzy come April. I’m thinking of opening a cattery, but I’m not there yet so remember a pet’s for life not just for the season.

If you can avoid these few simple things, you’ll be fine! If you can’t- well it’s all part of the fun!! It’s easy to be a seasonnaire– you’re coming to the most beautiful place on earth to have an adventure. I mean, if you do lose your stuff, or you do ask about a gym, nothing will actually happen to you, you’ll just be teased unendingly until the end of the season. No biggy.

We’d love to know if you’ve got any additional faux pas to warn the newbies about…. come on…we know you’ve got some.

NB: There is no gym in Morzine.